iPod Friday 19 and OK, 20: Race Soundtrack!

Haven’t posted many tunes lately, so I’m about to get caught up in a big way. Since it’s way-too-long race time for some folks (including Le Crank here), I thought I’d throw out some appropriate stuff to get the blood going, among other things. So I present to you:

Cranky Race Soundtrack ’07!

Yes, tunes to inspire and indulge, all ready for those important points in the race. Not ‘Born to Run’, not ‘Running on Empty’, not ‘We Will Rock You’. Please. Just a few music files for that player of yours, and for the playas, if you will.


Before the Race!

A little instrumental track from Orbital, nice for a warm-up. Think of your old pal Satan here, wishing you only the best.
Orbital - Satan

One of my faves from the Gorillaz, from that last, overplayed album. I ‘dare’ you to run the race… yeah, that’s stretching things a bit.
Gorillaz – Dare

Oh, you know, I’m all up in the old wave, here’s Tears For Fears redo for a charity race in the UK. I mentioned this one a long time ago, but it still makes me smile in a ‘PBS Sweatin’ To The Oldies pledge drive’ way.
Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Run the World

And now for a little relaxation. Useful when you’re stressing out, though it might make you wish you were somewhere else. A pleasant instrumental from The Art of Noise reminding you of that vacation you really, really need to take.
The Art of Noise - Island

Now how did this get in here? This one’s about shoplifiting! Doesn’t matter, it has this skittish beat that makes you want to be a ‘hustler’, though not quite the kind this tune is about. You’ll hear ‘push it, push it’, ‘cause you’re about to, right?
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler


And We’re Off!

Damn! A slice of early 90s rap and dance, this crazy track by The Kopyright Liberation Front, aka the Justified Ancients of MuMu has everything from air raid sirens to the MC5 dropping the f-bomb. It always gets me going with all that old school rap and stuff, despite the ‘gonna make you sweat’s.
The KLF - What Time Is Love?

A new track from Seal about addiction, I assume. But he keeps singing ‘so you run, so you run’, so it could be about running addiction? Yes? No?
Seal – Amazing

This one was a hit in the UK earlier in the summer, and it’s grown on me. All about regret and loss and conformity. I didn’t say these were all going to be happy tunes, did I? For when you’re saying to yourself ‘I coulda been a contender…’
Reverend and the Makers - Heavyweight Champion of the World

Timbaland, always lunging for another hit, has no shame, but at least he always gets Nelly Furtado, Justin something-or-other and anyone else taking out the trash that day to sing on his albums. And this nervous D. Mode-ish remix bops along enough to move the Nike trainers.
Timbaland - Give It To Me (Blaster Project Dance Mix)

Another hit from leftfield! OK, folks, here’s a really, really Not Safe For Work tune, and I’ll apologize right now for including such an apparently dumb, misogynistic rap track on the list, but this is an homage/parody of the old 2 Live Crew joints, and if you can make it to the end, it’s hilarious, in a Jerry Springer way. It’s by Bangers & Cash (brilliant DJ Spank Rock’s side project), and all they do is ‘ho-downs’ ‘bout women. The ‘H’ word and the ‘N’ words fly, but then guest rapper Amanda Blank gets all Roxanne Shanté-like and turns the tables on the bitches. Because ‘bitches is NASTY’. Sorry for the NC-17 language, but if I heard this in a race, I’d be laughing so hard I’d forget all about where the hell I was. And sometimes that’s good.
Bangers & Cash - Loose


Feeling Good!

‘I Like the Way You Move!’ Yes, you!
Bodyrockers vs. Reel 2 Real - I Like The Way You Move It (DJ Matt Hite Bootleg Mix)

‘It’s Britney, bitch!’ A fine little Team 9 mash of Daft Punk (now heard on Kanye West’s hit), and then out of nowhere, Dead or Alive arrives when Brit wakes up from her stupor.
Team 9 - Britney Dead or Alive

Cabaret Voltaire was one of my favorites in the early industrial rock world, and then in ’90 they got all Technotronic and housy and kind of blew it. This track emerged, but it does have an appropriate message and that doomsday synth riff even The Human League got tired of.
Cabaret Voltaire - Keep On (Razormaid Mix)

Damn, this is the aural equivalent of a cheese log. A eurodisco track from BWO (Bodies Without Organs! Hey, that’s stupid!), an embarrassing Swedish group who dress like nerds at a renaissance fair. The title has nothing to do with the running flick from the 80s, but the track does chug along. Gayer than the men’s room at the Minneapolis Airport.
BWO - Chariots of Fire

Not just Diana Ross, Diana Ross having a seizure! Yes, take a listen, you’ll hear what I’m saying. This’ll light a fire on your ass. Yes, YOUR ass.
Diana Ross - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Fantastic Plastic Machine Mix)

More mashed up stuff, Eurythmics meet Madonna’s ‘Die Another Day’. Yes, you’ll die another day, not today, thank you. ‘Cause everybody’s looking for something, like the next water station.
Eurythmics vs Madonna - Another Sweet Dream Dies

Nine minutes of trance from Goldfrapp, a tripping remix of ‘Time Out From the World’ that moves along in a motivational-seminar-sort-of-way. Then with three minutes left it turns cinematic and technicolor all at once. Try not to cry. HAHAHA!
Goldfrapp - Time Out From the World


Feeling Lousy!

Starting to lose it!
Garbage – I Think I’m Paranoid

OK, he’s talking about Apollonia, or Vanity, or some other vixen wearing purple hotpants, but it doesn’t matter, delirious is delirious, whatever the cause. He even sings ‘I just can’t win the race’…
Prince – Delirious (extended)

‘Pain, pain, pain, pain… pain’. And will you return it? Why, yes.
Depeche Mode - Strange Love (Pain Mix)

Cheery little number from Rammstein. They’re SO cute. This sounds like some Wagnerian chain gang going to the convenience store, doesn’t it? I had no idea what they were singing about (I thought it was bathroom tile or something) until wikipedia filled me in. Remember, at those water and food stations, ‘you are what you eat’!
Rammstein – Mein Teil (PSB There Are No Guitars On This Mix)

Disco stompin’ remix, just in time for Halloween. An oldie from the Manahattan Transfer, not known for disco, but it does have that ‘do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do’ theme we’ve heard enough already, thank you.
Manhattan Transfer - Twilight Zone/Twliight Tone (Jason Nevins Remix)


Finishing Up!

E.L.O. is now played in frickin’ drug commercials and such, and in Jim Carrey movies, but time was they were kind of cool. LONG time ago, but they knew slick pop/rock when they programmed it, and even agreed to jump on the soundtrack bandwagon with the cheesefest Xanadu (from which this is taken). So here’s their shameless take on Martha & the Vandella’s ‘Dancing in the Streets’, something that will either fill you with universal love or nausea, hopefully both.
Electric Light Orchestra - All Over the World

Ready for runner rehab yet? Amy Winehouse meets The Four Tops, who realize ‘I can’t help myself’ on this Party Ben remix. Well done!
PartyBen-Rehab (Can'tHelpMyself)

Weird one to add, Satan! The Flaming Lips channel John Lennon, and get all heavy, but maybe not. If it hits you the right way, you’ll have to sit down and listen again after they take that chip off.
The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize?

Had a bad day? Beck might thank you’re a loser, but Radiohead knew first. Feeling better already! ‘What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here!’
Radiohead - Creep

Here’s an oldie that got hijacked by Mars’/Peanut M&Ms’ marketing department earlier this year. Bitches is nasty! Anyway, this isn’t that uplifting if you really pay attention to the lyrics, either.
The The – This Is The Day

Gotta end on a high note, right? I’ve always loved Chrissie Hynde, and this is one of her less cynical tunes, and you’ll need one now that you’re a dehydrated, blubbering mess.
The Pretenders - Show Me


And there’s your long-distance (!) dedication, folks. All of these were road-tested at Cranky Laboratories, a division of Satan’s At Mile Markee 24, Inc. And if you like any of these tunes, check out the full-length versions on Amazon or any of those fine music retailers.

ENJOY.