What Would Satan Do?

It seems right now a lot of folks are getting ready for half marathons, marathons, triathlons, Toyota Sell-a-thons and whatever else they can push themselves through this fall. In fact, many of us are in the final taper or cooldown before the main event, so I thought I’d throw out some random thoughts on, and perhaps advice to get through, life before the big day.

Take It Easy
So you’ve got a week or two before the event. I won’t tell you to cut back on mileage, your training schedule should tell you that. But remember to cool it. You’ve got all this extra energy going nowhere all of a sudden, and it sometimes gets converted into some weird hyperactivity, and then you find yourself bounding up stairs or actually running to the refrigerator. And then one night, without really paying much attention, you slam you’re little toe against an end table, or a knee on a coffee table, and you’re cussing out your own furniture. You don’t need to be paranoid or overly careful, just be mindful so you don’t give yourself a dumb injury. Make your steps a little more deliberate, watch out for dangerous situations, like jumping out of bed in pitch-black darkness, and you’ll be fine.

Cranky Say: Relax
If you’re into relaxation techniques already, great, but if you’re like me, you don’t have many yoga moments in your life. So learn to relax yourself a little, and make it count. My method is to lay flat on my back on my bed or couch, close my eyes, and concentrate on relaxing body sections one by one, starting with the feet and heading north. I imagine that I’m on a beach and waves are lapping up higher and higher, relaxing me bit by bit. Of course, I’m daydreaming about a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Rocky Road by the time I get to my ankles, but I’ve learned to stick with the program. Whatever works for you, just take time to learn some method to relax your body and brain a little so you don’t go nuts not running or biking or swimming or yes, eating.

Stretch
I don’t think I need to explain this one too much, but it’s worth remembering in a big way. Especially if you’re like me and don’t like stretching so much. I tell myself to do it and shut up, so there.

Hydrate
Yeah, we know to drink more water, but in the few days before some insane event, it’s important. Depending on whom you ask, I’ve heard it should be eight or even ten 8-oz glasses of water each day. That’s fine, but you better have a bathroom ready for the bladder blitzkrieg dead ahead. All I can advise is: drink more water, but enough to make you feel comfortable about feeling a little bit like a water balloon, everyone’s bathroom mileage varies.

I’ve found that keeping a nerdy index card with some numbers written on it (that I cross off every time I drink a portion of water), or a handy note that you can put hash marks on for every glass, works for me. Yes, my short-term memory is that bad, but like a running log with forgotten information, it helps me to keep track of all that liquid passing through. I probably don’t drink enough water to begin with, so three glasses feels like an ocean, and I always forget because I’m tired of the bathroom trips. But keeping track helps you stay better hydrated, and be mindful at the very least.

Dress for Success
Don’t buy new stuff at the last minute to wear in your race. You can bet there will be some evil inseam or indestructible garment tag that will drive you nuts. Wear something already road-tested on a long run, and stick to it. Put your outfit and backup bad weather gear aside ahead of time and don’t think about it. I shove all that in the bag I’m going to check the night before and forget about it so I when I get up at the pre-crack of dawn I just have to empty the damn bag out, dress, and be on my way. By the way, unlike normal long run training mornings, I take a shower before heading out the door. Sure, you’re going to be sweaty and dirty when you’re done, but a shower can relax you and make you feel fresher, and anything that makes you feel slightly better during a race is worth it as far as I’m concerned.


Well, I have lots of other running-related opinions (you knew that already), but these are at least some of the things that go through my mind while tapering and I have more free time to feel insecure about cutting mileage. Oh, and do yourself a favor, before setting out on that big day, identify or even register for another ‘big day’. Give yourself another goal, no matter how big or small, so you have something else to look forward to. It minimizes that ‘do or die’ feeling you get, and lessens the potential disappointment of a bad day. The fate of western civilization does not hang in the balance if things don’t work out, remember that. And enter the fray knowing that you’ll come out the other side with another crack at personal victory or even redemption in another insane-a-thon..

But you have to take it seriously, you’ve spent months of your life getting ready, right? As the song goes, ‘relax… don’t do it’… Sorry, was that Satan talking?