The Old, The Not-So-Old, And The Just Plain Annoying… In The Way

Hey You!
You, up front! Take those headphones off, I’m trying to scream at you!

OK, here’s the scenario. You’re lined up in a race in the park along with 4000 other anxious runners. Right up front are about fifty fellow bib-holders hanging with the 5-minute mile former college track stars. Funny thing is, these fifty or so runners will be running 15-minute miles.

And guess what, you, the faster runners and practically everyone else are going to be slamming into or zigzagging around these idiots for at least ten minutes after the starting gun.

So why are these people with walkers and crutches up front? Well, they can’t be worried about their finish times, because there’s this little chip, see, that tells them their actual time when the results are posted. So are they basking in the glow of youth? Perhaps, but when they become speed bumps for the rest of us, the party’s over. The Tortoise and The Hare is a cute story to recreate, but there were only two runners in that race, not thousands.

So starting line folks, for your own safety and our own sanity, line up with runners of your pace. There’s a reason the organizers set up pace signs, despite the obvious lack of enforcement. Ever wonder why so many marathon organizers use a corral system? Yes, you.