As you may have guessed by now, we get all into music. With hot, humid weather here and lots of fun music coming out all the time, it helps to have fresh tunes ready to go on the old iPod to keep us on track.
We thought about posting tunes by The Cure, and even by jailbird Paris Hilton now that CNN is broadcasting ridiculous reports every ten minutes. Guess there’s not much going on in the news today. Yeah, right.
Anyway, let’s just check out some road-tested mashups that we’ve run across over the last year. As something of a warning, we like our tunes to have a beat, nothing slow and lugubrious. Classical music is great to listen to while sitting in a comfy armchair with a glass of wine, but don’t ask us to listen to ‘Moonlight Sonata’ during a tempo run. If that gets you across a finish line, more power to ya, but we’ve got to have something that helps keep the pace. And if you’ve heard these already, you know what we mean.
First up is a fun little mash of the disco tune ‘Born To Be Alive’ by Patrick Hernandez (trivia: Madonna got her start touring in Europe as a backup singer for this guy) mixed with ‘Vertigo’ by ancient wave rockers U2. Created by mashmaster FuTuRo.
Born to Vertigo
Next up is a wonderful little gem from one of our favorites, Party Ben. It’s the ‘ChicFranzieBoys’, or in other words, Chic + Franz Ferdinand + The Beastie Boys. Somehow, it works, in an old school kinda way…
ChicFranzieBoys
Masher Audiodile made this wonderful slice of craziness last year, mixing Nine Inch Nails’ ‘Closer’ with The Art of Noise. Not for playing loudly at work (f-bomb alert), unless you’re planning on quitting today.
Closer (To The Editor)
Next is not technically a mash, but it’s in the mash family, a remix of sorts of Queen’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ by Rhythm Scholar. Happily, even Joan Jett chimes in at the end… Though it’s probably not too appropriate, we’d love to hear this one at a race!
Another One Bites The Dust (Rhythm Scholar Blasted Breaks Remix)
Finally, one more Party Ben opus, it’s a mash of Gnarls Barkley ‘Crazy’ with Donna Summer’s ‘I Feel Love’. Perfectly done, it’s ‘I Feel Crazy’. Yeah!
I Feel Crazy
Hope you like these; once again, they were all road-tested by CR at various locations in Central Park, Randall’s Island, Battery Park, the Queensboro Bridge, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and wherever the hell we ended up dehydrated but happy. And if you want even more from these great mashup folks, head over to the following fine places:
FuTuRo
Party Ben
Audiodile
Rhythm Scholar
Happy listening, and happy weekend!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Filling Out Your Running Form
Yeah, that’s a lame title, ‘The Perfect Form’ was taken. So anyway, we’ve been meaning to discuss running form, because we see in all these races people who kick and flail and do goofy things with their arms and legs while they’re running. Shoe scuffing too, and of course, landing flat on the feet, sounding like cinderblocks being thrown off the roof.
Our favorite one was spotted again last week, a runner we affectionately call the ‘Fast Food Drive Through Jogger’. He takes one of his forearms, usually the left, and swings it way out at the elbow, making a circular motion while moving forward. It looks like he’s rolling down an imaginary car window, and one of these days we’re going to run up beside him and nasally announce ‘Welcome to Burger Dauphin, may I take your order?!’. Well, we’re not that mean, but allow us our evil thoughts. There are many more bad form types (The Modern Dancer, Limp Wristkit, The Washing Machine, et al), which we’ll save for a rainy day.
Anyway, what’s really at stake is running efficiency. The less energy spent on needless kicking, flailing and such, the more energy you have for finishing the run or race. The good news is, when it comes to running, most of us just go out and run without thinking about the process. It’s one of the things that makes running so democratic, just about anybody with the ability can do it. The bad news is that most of us don’t always have coaches, haven’t had someone watch our running form since kindergarten, or we just don’t pay attention to our form so much. Yes, getting from Point A to Point B is fine however you do it, but paying attention to how you get there might help you get to Point B a little sooner and better yet, a little happier. And perhaps… injury free?
Of course, Paula Radcliffe and her weird head roll running style could kick our ass in a race to the refrigerator, but you get the point. It never hurts to check your form.
And because Your Satanic Majesty is like, all up in dem bitches, here’s a link to a Runner’s World article that gets extra Heloise-like about running form.
Our favorite one was spotted again last week, a runner we affectionately call the ‘Fast Food Drive Through Jogger’. He takes one of his forearms, usually the left, and swings it way out at the elbow, making a circular motion while moving forward. It looks like he’s rolling down an imaginary car window, and one of these days we’re going to run up beside him and nasally announce ‘Welcome to Burger Dauphin, may I take your order?!’. Well, we’re not that mean, but allow us our evil thoughts. There are many more bad form types (The Modern Dancer, Limp Wristkit, The Washing Machine, et al), which we’ll save for a rainy day.
Anyway, what’s really at stake is running efficiency. The less energy spent on needless kicking, flailing and such, the more energy you have for finishing the run or race. The good news is, when it comes to running, most of us just go out and run without thinking about the process. It’s one of the things that makes running so democratic, just about anybody with the ability can do it. The bad news is that most of us don’t always have coaches, haven’t had someone watch our running form since kindergarten, or we just don’t pay attention to our form so much. Yes, getting from Point A to Point B is fine however you do it, but paying attention to how you get there might help you get to Point B a little sooner and better yet, a little happier. And perhaps… injury free?
Of course, Paula Radcliffe and her weird head roll running style could kick our ass in a race to the refrigerator, but you get the point. It never hurts to check your form.
And because Your Satanic Majesty is like, all up in dem bitches, here’s a link to a Runner’s World article that gets extra Heloise-like about running form.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Mirror in the Crankroom
Sometimes we can’t lay all the blame on, well, other people. Sometimes we just have to look in the mirror to find the enemy.
So listen to your cranky uncle here. When it’s hot and nasty outside, and you’re running and running and maybe biking or snarling at or eye-rolling at ding-dong runners with bad habits we don’t even want to talk about… remember to drink your water. Drinking water and hydrating is the ‘eat your vegetables’ of road racing. Now everybody can say ‘But Mr. Satan, of course I drink my water, duh’ and he’d know your telling the truth, but what about the afterparty ?
So we get home, shower up, scream for a while when the soap hits the chafes, dry off, dress, and move on with our life. Then later that day we start to get sleepy and churlish, and we wonder why, because the run wasn’t all that long. And then six hours later we realize we haven’t gone to the bathroom ALL DAY. Why? Because like the idiot behavior we mock, we stopped drinking water a little while after we stopped running.
Yes, we’ve sinned, we forgot to keep drinking water, even after that hellish long run. So take the advice we offer up to you now and keep drinking water after your run… or at least something that comes close to water that won’t dry you out. And if you want to take a nap, it’s because you want to, not because you have to.
The English Beat - Mirror in the Bathroom
(On a completely different subject, the 19th century mirror pictured above sold for $1700 this morning at the auction house down the street. An average selling price for a revival style/copy, too bad it wasn't an actual 18th century mirror, it would've fetched about $12,000, even more if there'd been a chateau stamp on it. See, you never know what arcane trivia will float to the top at CrankyRunner HQ)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
iPod Friday 6
We thought we’d try something a little different this time around. Rather than directing you to a worthy music blog, it’s time to at least try our own little download of the day. Hmm… that didn’t sound so nice, but here goes.
By way of crankiness, of course… Did you ever show up for a race and they played ‘Born to Run’ right as the gun went off? Well, Bruce’s tune is a classic, but how obvious is that? And nothing screams ‘this race is organized by middle-aged white males’ as playing ‘Born to Run’. Well, we’ve run a lot of races, and we’ve heard this one played way too often. We can return to discussing appropriate running-themed songs later, but here’s an oldie we came across that might be nice to hear instead.
It’s a Motown single, Junior Walker and the All-Stars, with ‘I’m a Road Runner’. Can’t get much more direct than that!
I’m a Road Runner
By way of crankiness, of course… Did you ever show up for a race and they played ‘Born to Run’ right as the gun went off? Well, Bruce’s tune is a classic, but how obvious is that? And nothing screams ‘this race is organized by middle-aged white males’ as playing ‘Born to Run’. Well, we’ve run a lot of races, and we’ve heard this one played way too often. We can return to discussing appropriate running-themed songs later, but here’s an oldie we came across that might be nice to hear instead.
It’s a Motown single, Junior Walker and the All-Stars, with ‘I’m a Road Runner’. Can’t get much more direct than that!
I’m a Road Runner
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Race For The Cure!
Hot on the heels of yesterday’s request to bring back The Cure in a ‘gothic 5-miler’, we now hear they’re going out on the road, you can read the article in Billboard. And it’s a ‘Download Fest’, of all things. Guess we’ll have to play ‘Hot, Hot, Hot’ near the finish line…
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Three Stupid Questions and... Some 'Responses'
1. “How long is this marathon?” (as in: ‘marathon’ could only mean ‘really, really long time’ and race organizers come up with some random long-ass distance, or worse, runners just run a lot for a few hours, because ‘it’s like so fun, dude’)
OK, race distances vary, but come on, it’s the marathon. There are several responses to this exceedingly lame ‘water cooler/local weather discussion’-type question.
“42.19 kilometers.” - True enough, but make them feel even more stupid (Americans!) for not remembering how to mentally convert kilometers to miles. If they’re still stumped, start quoting acres and hectares.
“62.2 miles” – Easy, just switch around the numerals! How the hell do they know? And if they do know the real answer, ask them why they frickin’ asked in the first place. Otherwise, it’s shock and awe.
“Until I…” – And create some creepy, fictitious, rambling story about a personal experience that has them nervously edging for the door. ‘Once I was at mile 17, and I felt a rumble around like, my spleen, and then I started to feel queasy, but instead of hurling I went into some catatonic dream where I saw you eating a hot dog and a donut and then suddenly I was like Linda Blair with green Gatorade coming out of my…’ You get the idea.
2. “What was this race for?” (as in: nobody could possibly travel on foot, or exercise for longer than five minutes without doing it for charity or fund-raising)
OK, we thank everyone who comes out and completes long walks and races for cures and social issues, you folks do admirable work raising money and awareness. But sometimes, some of us actually run not just for altruistic reasons, but because it makes us healthier, and hopefully, we feel better. Raising money for the right cause is great, it’s just not the only reason to get your butt out on the road. Question: if everybody ran, or got some exercise every day, wouldn’t we be healthier overall, and maybe develop fewer health ‘problems’ to have to walk for? Well, we’ll leave that alone, because there are many uncured diseases that walking/running can’t fix, but you get what we’re talking about. Just wondering. Anyway, back to the snarky answers:
“The Human Fund” – A nice tip of the hat to George Costanza, circa mid-90s.
“The Lohan Center for Crack Research” - Shows how current you are with entertainment news, and that you really care about those less fortunate starlets now in rehab.
“Race to Bring Back The Cure” – When was the last time you heard Robert Smith and The Cure on the radio? Why, U-2 has been around since the 80s, too, why can’t we hear more hits from the group that gave us ‘The Love Cats’, ‘Let’s Go to Bed’ and more appropriately ‘The Walk’? This gothic 5 miler raises money to resurrect this seminal new wave band back to overpriced rock stadiums and weepy reality TV. The goodie bag includes eyeliner, mascara, mousse, and a technical black t-shirt that says ‘Piss Off, Depeche Merde’.
3. “Didja finish?” (as in: ‘I am so stupid, I have to ask you that after months of training, you could possibly not want to finish, right?’. Or worse, ‘tell me you hurt yourself and couldn’t finish and then I can share in your pain while barely disguising my personal glee because we all know it’s not right to run that far’. Well, we’ve covered this one in a previous post, but it’s time for some real-world answers to this idiotic question.)
(Blank Stare) – Then slap your forehead, show a look of incomprehensible realization, turn around and run away or out of the room as fast as you can. Holy crap, I forgot to finish, thank you SO much!
“Yep, finished six hours ago. The race took me 14 and a half hours. Got home, showered, baked a cake, came to work.” - Yes, the old ‘nonchalance’ answer from you, the local bionic runner. Certain ultramarathoners could probably say this and not be lying, so keep the civilians guessing about the length of ‘this’ marathon too, and make it sound like something you do everyday, which means you always finish. And what did YOU do today?
“Finish what?” The race. “What race?” The one you were in. “I wasn’t in a race” I thought you said you were in a race. “Oh, that race” Didja finish? “What race?” continue this conversational loop until THE END OF TIME. This is called answering stupidity with blind stupidity. Hey there’s a cause, The 10K to End Stupidity! Something tells us it would take a lot longer than 10K, or a marathon… depending on how long that is.
...So the next time you get this wonderful trifecta from a co-worker or family member (and they really should know better), instead of consecutively answering ’26.2 miles, me, and yes’, enjoy yourself by giving creative answers. You ran all that way, and they didn’t, so have some fun. Lovingly, of course.
OK, race distances vary, but come on, it’s the marathon. There are several responses to this exceedingly lame ‘water cooler/local weather discussion’-type question.
“42.19 kilometers.” - True enough, but make them feel even more stupid (Americans!) for not remembering how to mentally convert kilometers to miles. If they’re still stumped, start quoting acres and hectares.
“62.2 miles” – Easy, just switch around the numerals! How the hell do they know? And if they do know the real answer, ask them why they frickin’ asked in the first place. Otherwise, it’s shock and awe.
“Until I…” – And create some creepy, fictitious, rambling story about a personal experience that has them nervously edging for the door. ‘Once I was at mile 17, and I felt a rumble around like, my spleen, and then I started to feel queasy, but instead of hurling I went into some catatonic dream where I saw you eating a hot dog and a donut and then suddenly I was like Linda Blair with green Gatorade coming out of my…’ You get the idea.
2. “What was this race for?” (as in: nobody could possibly travel on foot, or exercise for longer than five minutes without doing it for charity or fund-raising)
OK, we thank everyone who comes out and completes long walks and races for cures and social issues, you folks do admirable work raising money and awareness. But sometimes, some of us actually run not just for altruistic reasons, but because it makes us healthier, and hopefully, we feel better. Raising money for the right cause is great, it’s just not the only reason to get your butt out on the road. Question: if everybody ran, or got some exercise every day, wouldn’t we be healthier overall, and maybe develop fewer health ‘problems’ to have to walk for? Well, we’ll leave that alone, because there are many uncured diseases that walking/running can’t fix, but you get what we’re talking about. Just wondering. Anyway, back to the snarky answers:
“The Human Fund” – A nice tip of the hat to George Costanza, circa mid-90s.
“The Lohan Center for Crack Research” - Shows how current you are with entertainment news, and that you really care about those less fortunate starlets now in rehab.
“Race to Bring Back The Cure” – When was the last time you heard Robert Smith and The Cure on the radio? Why, U-2 has been around since the 80s, too, why can’t we hear more hits from the group that gave us ‘The Love Cats’, ‘Let’s Go to Bed’ and more appropriately ‘The Walk’? This gothic 5 miler raises money to resurrect this seminal new wave band back to overpriced rock stadiums and weepy reality TV. The goodie bag includes eyeliner, mascara, mousse, and a technical black t-shirt that says ‘Piss Off, Depeche Merde’.
3. “Didja finish?” (as in: ‘I am so stupid, I have to ask you that after months of training, you could possibly not want to finish, right?’. Or worse, ‘tell me you hurt yourself and couldn’t finish and then I can share in your pain while barely disguising my personal glee because we all know it’s not right to run that far’. Well, we’ve covered this one in a previous post, but it’s time for some real-world answers to this idiotic question.)
(Blank Stare) – Then slap your forehead, show a look of incomprehensible realization, turn around and run away or out of the room as fast as you can. Holy crap, I forgot to finish, thank you SO much!
“Yep, finished six hours ago. The race took me 14 and a half hours. Got home, showered, baked a cake, came to work.” - Yes, the old ‘nonchalance’ answer from you, the local bionic runner. Certain ultramarathoners could probably say this and not be lying, so keep the civilians guessing about the length of ‘this’ marathon too, and make it sound like something you do everyday, which means you always finish. And what did YOU do today?
“Finish what?” The race. “What race?” The one you were in. “I wasn’t in a race” I thought you said you were in a race. “Oh, that race” Didja finish? “What race?” continue this conversational loop until THE END OF TIME. This is called answering stupidity with blind stupidity. Hey there’s a cause, The 10K to End Stupidity! Something tells us it would take a lot longer than 10K, or a marathon… depending on how long that is.
...So the next time you get this wonderful trifecta from a co-worker or family member (and they really should know better), instead of consecutively answering ’26.2 miles, me, and yes’, enjoy yourself by giving creative answers. You ran all that way, and they didn’t, so have some fun. Lovingly, of course.
Friday, May 25, 2007
iPod Friday 5
Well, life can’t all be podcasts, so we recommend checking out JB’s blog ‘The Hits Just Keep On Comin' ’.
Sometimes we miss the old top 40 format, when you could hear Prince, followed by Bruce, followed by Heart, followed by Earth, Wind & Fire… all on a tinny AM radio in your car on a late summer night. Well, JB brings some of that back, with a radio-friendly feel. And intelligent discussion, too.
Well, ‘The Hits…’ may be a little too old school for some, but it beats listening to some of today’s ‘Hits’. Like the Doobie Brothers once said, ‘It keeps you running’.
The Hits Just Keep On Comin'
Sometimes we miss the old top 40 format, when you could hear Prince, followed by Bruce, followed by Heart, followed by Earth, Wind & Fire… all on a tinny AM radio in your car on a late summer night. Well, JB brings some of that back, with a radio-friendly feel. And intelligent discussion, too.
Well, ‘The Hits…’ may be a little too old school for some, but it beats listening to some of today’s ‘Hits’. Like the Doobie Brothers once said, ‘It keeps you running’.
The Hits Just Keep On Comin'
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